Shocking news: BD cricket team splits in two!

[rafiq]

BD cricket team splits in two!
By Sports Reporter


If the shocking loss to underdogs South Africa was not enough, unidentified sources report that the Bangladesh cricket team has now split into 2 factions along partisan political lines.

On one hand, a group of players are agitated that Khaled Mahmud Sujon, their spiritual leader, has not figured in Dav Whatmore's ICC tournament plans as of yet. If ragtag tabloid reports can be believed, Whatmore plans to leave the pace demon out of the West Indies game as well. Sujon, who is alleged to have the backing of powerful forces in the ruling BNP, has threatened to form his own team. To be called Bangladesh Jatiyotabadi Cricket Team (BJCT-Sujon), the rebel unit will play West Indies on Tuesday, Sept 14, a day before the scheduled ICC tournament match. Sujon claims to have seven starters and a reserve backing him, and to complete the side, he has approached a couple of Banglawicket.com fans he made friends with in Edgbaston.

Astounded by this development, players loyal to the opposition Awami League, albeit in the minority, have asked Coach Whatmore to send the BNP elements back home. Their spokesman, wishing to remain anonymous, has asked loyal Bangladesh fans to step up for an impromptu half-day trial tomorrow (Tuesday) for selection to the national squad. Sources indicate this trial will take place in the hotel hallway outside captain Rajin Saleh's room.

The ICC, meanwhile, has yet to issue a statement but is expected to stay out of the internal affairs of the Bangladesh cricket team. "This is a matter for the Bangladesh Cricket Board", an ICC spokeswoman declared, but she, too, wanted to remain anonymous.

Ali Asghar Lobbi, found sitting in the hotel lobby catching up on the latest episode of "The Kumars" show, had a stern warning for the AL sympathizers. "If they call a hartal or do anything to damage the nation's image in this foreign land, there will be dire consequences". Reminded that it was the BNP players who were causing the trouble, reportedly over the omission of Sujon, Lobby said he would form a committee to investigate and a full report would be made public. "We have nothing to hide. We came here to play cricket, if necessary I will fight the West Indies by myself".

As for the Windies, Brian Lara was stoic in his observations:"AL or BNP, I &I don't care, maan, dem all goan be crushed like chilli peppa....". The rest of his comments are unprintable in a G-rated website.

Outside the hotel, police have set up a roadblock to keep away hundreds of agitated Bangladeshi fans. For days the fans have been stewing, and the mood has turned quite ugly. First, Bangladesh lost to Scotland, then to the USA ("What a glorious 142 that was from Clayton Lambert", wrote friend-of-Bangladesh and Crickinfo reporter, Andrew Miller), and then came the horror of the defeat to an out of sorts South Africa team.

On a giant screen set up in the hotel parking lot, fans are busy typing in their opinions on the banglawicket.com website message board. Moderator Japaniman was on hand, making sure rules were being followed, and had this to offer: "Look, even I am ready to use profanity, something which I would not allow on my board but out here in the streets of Southampton, somehow I feel free to say I cannot take this anymore".

As news of the split in the team leaked out, Bangladeshi fans immediately began reorganizing along party lines. Banglawicket.com banners, already looking a little worse for the wear after making the journey from Birmingham, were soon being trampled upon, and in their place sprung up colorful AL/BNP placards. The lunchtime English crowd stopped to take a peek at the bizarre scene; one little Bangladeshi boy could be seen with a sign that said "Sujon Chacha maro taan, Whatmore hobe khaan khaan".

[This report is unreliable, is meant solely to provide some much needed comic relief to the banglawicket.com website, and should not be used to wager any bets in the upcoming Bangladesh vs West Indies match]

Edited on, September 14, 2004, 1:36 PM GMT, by rafiq.

[Zunaid]

We should have a BanglaCricket hall of fame where we point to classic articles like this. Thanks for the comic relief - will ingest it with some goat curry

[fab]

HAHA LOL Thanks for that! Much needed (you fooled me for the first couple of sentences)

[Nasif]

rafiq bhai! man, you had me there for few mins

You should put that bottom text in red! This rumour can get big

[Zunaid]

Originally posted by fab
HAHA LOL Thanks for that! Much needed (you fooled me for the first couple of sentences)

What does this about the sorry state of our nation that we could actually conceive of this happening .... I too was thinking entirely possible as I read the headline - perhaps something like the eternal Pakistani cricket team dissention et al...

[AussieBloke]

Good God! This was a comic relief??? I thought the worst nightmare was about to unleash its horror! That says how possible such a scenario is. This thing can happen any other day. Even in cricket politics has and is likely to show its ugly face. Until I reached the end of the post I was thinking of different ingenius ways to make Shujon suffer before I turned him into a puff ball, if he dared to drag us through the mud. I was relieved to see that this was just a joke!

[Orpheus]

I thought Lobbi was really funny.... :p He gonna fight the WI himself.. LOL

rafiq bhai has too much time on his hands again it seems but nevertheless...... high class humor

[fab]

How do you pronounce 'Lobbi'? Is it like lobby? (LOL) Or 'lo-bee' as in greedy?

Edited on, September 14, 2004, 5:59 AM GMT, by fab.

[Hasib]

LOL Rafiq... u had me depressed for a while there!!!

[rafiq]

Yes, too much time! I had a good day so needed to unwind... a VC speaking at a dinner tonight was pointing out how we in the US now have conference calls that start at 11 pm so people in India/China can be on the line during THEIR work day - how true and how the world changes in front of our eyes - it reminds me that anything is possible, and overused cliche but anyway it was a good day.

So one sentence turned to another and I couldn't stop. Sorry for giving you a heart attack. I'll leave it to the mods to put the note in red if necessary, it will take away from the surprise if you see the warning before you read it!

No offense to Sujon, btw... I think he should play as well, and why not what do we have to lose?

Cheers..

[Hasib]

A thought just occured to me... ppl from Bangladesherkhela often browses these forums. (they take Chinaman's scores etc.). What wud happen if on of them saw that... but didnt read the last bit which revealed its just a joke?

[PoorFan]

Come on!! It's too big for a joke!
I thought another never ending nightmare has just started for us.

[fwullah]

You had me fooled there for a few seconds, too - after reading the 'headline', I thought that this was true!

[bdmoderator]

When I read the article I really shocked :duh:. I read the whole article seriously. I read everyline 2/3 times. But when I saw the last PARA, I laugh out loudly . It's classic joke.

[200SX]

mate.u shudnt joke like this........bt its a realy xtra-ordinary one.......u shud publish this on crickinfo website....:P

[oracle]

what can i say. our Rafiq's version of onion.

Edited on, September 14, 2004, 11:39 AM GMT, by oracle.

[Unknown]

Well written. After thorough reading and much thinking, I am now convinced Rafiq bhai is telling the truth :P

[Arnab]

Rafiq Bhai, use the format [*color=green*]text[*/color*] (without the *'s) to use Sarcasm green. You could use purple for Irony as well.

Edited on, September 14, 2004, 1:05 PM GMT, by Arnab.

[TAIF]

pheeeeew, u had me there for a sec.

[Kana-Baba]

This kind of joke is not fair rafiq bhai. I almost had a heart attack.

[m]

I am not getting this. How can you call it a comic relief? This is too bad a news. And why is it unreliable? It was mentioned to be written by "Sports reporter". Sports reporter from where? Also I couldn't find any banglawicket.com. Is it just a name of an organization or an actual website? Anyway, I don't care about banglawicket, but this is a very bad news.

[Zobair]

hahah...man! We needed the humour...man the last 48 hours have been a real downer.

[SS]

hehehe go Mr. Rafiq
first I thought BD players are becoming like me..."shubidabi" type..hehe
I wanted to write the my opinion right away after reading that telling " what else do you expect beside "politics", "getting out before lunch", "going for shopping and thinking about it while in the tour"...then u made me laugh...I not gona post my comment any more

But ....can't kept it ....gota tell something hehehe

if Faisal plays will it gona make difference...is playing Aftab too early( he seems to be over confident in this early age though he got talents)?
is Musfiq too "tired" after getting married...the "reliable Musfiq" is gone!!! why is that? Tapash and Nazmul trying their best so Mahmud/Musfiq is the next seamer...how effective that is as we all know but who will be better to "check" the runs?? Why Rajin didn't use Rafique that day when it seemed to be spinners getting the turn...is Rana "the promising consistent star" of last two or three tours fading away..why..???

If it happens to one player..it's understandable..is it our fate?? why everybody fails...is this our genetical characteristics of players??

Which psycologist, physician, mental doctor or (whateva) we should bring to change their mind set...??

Sorry ppl same thing I repeated again like a tweety bird..but that's my gene..I guess I gota go to a mental doctor..let's see if I change

Good luck team! and to you guys!

[Sam]

Thanks Rafiq for the right dose at the right time. We needed it to relax a bit before the second big show starts.

[rassel]