Screw My Bangla Life!!!

[bujhee kom]

Once in garde 5 I think back in my school in Dhaka a teacher came to our class to fill up the time when the other assigned teacher was out sick and then he asked each and everyone of us what we all want to be when we grow up.....all the mora dhoras said doctor, engr, lawyer etc.. and a few wise guys tried to say something innovative like president, general etc. and when it came to my turn I said "I want to be a kreeshok (farmer)!" After listeninng to my choice, the punkass buddy of mine, sitting next to me, as soon as his turn came, jumped up and with his teeth showing said that he wanted to be a "diin mojoor" (day labourer)!!! And the sir called him up front and beat the half life out of him with a scale!!!! He screamed and said, Sir, sir, but what bout them, he wanted to be a kreeshok etc.!!!" The teacher goes, in the west there are educated farmers and he wants to be a framer, that's good, all of our fathers and uncles were farmers, but you are a punkass, you want to be a day labourer, you think life is a joke!! Baam..baam...a few more time hitting..."

[Tigers_eye]

I wish I had the teacher. I would have given him some Sahabah examples of din mojur and make him look like a fool and he would be sad all day long.

Nevertheless, good one BK. Can we have one more please?

[One World]

Originally Posted by Tigers_eye
I wish I had the teacher. I would have given him some Sahabah examples of din mojur and make him look like a fool and he would be sad all day long.

Nevertheless, good one BK. Can we have one more please?

Thanks for the confession, did not know you two went to school together and also used to sit aside!

[Zeeshan]

Not technically a SMBL but why do some of us bangalis pronounce Pizza(Pitzah) as Pijjjah! as if they are trying to force it out of their system. wtf....

[Ashraf-FTP]

Originally Posted by ZeeshanM
Not technically a SMBL but why do some of us bangalis pronounce Pizza(Pitzah) as Pijjjah! as if they are trying to force it out of their system. wtf....

lmfaaooo... Yh I realized that too

superbly annoying..

[BD-Shardul]

তুমি জীবনে কী হতে চাও এই কথা যখন উঠল, তখন আমি জীবনে কি হতে চেয়েছিলাম, এই কাহিনী আপনাদের সাথে ভাগাভাগি করি।

আমি যখন কেজি ক্লাসে ভর্তি হই, তখন স্কুলে যাওয়ার আগে আম্মু আমাকে শিখিয়ে দিয়েছিলেন, ম্যাডাম যদি তোকে জিজ্ঞেস করে বড় হয়ে কী হবি, তুই বলবি অফিসার। ম্যাডাম জিজ্ঞেস করেছিলেন, আমি আম্মুর শেখানো কথাই বলেছিলাম।

তারপর আমরা সপরিবারে বাংলাদেশে যাই। লঞ্ছে ওঠার পর হঠাত মনে হল, সারেং এর কাজটা ত খুবি ইন্টারেস্টিং। ব্যস, এরপর দেশ থেকে আসার পর বৃত্তাকার কোন কিছু পেলেই খাটের উপর বসে আমি আমার কল্পনার লঞ্ছ চালানো শুরু করতাম। সারেং হবার শখ অনেক দিন ছিল।

এরপর দ্বিতীয় শ্রেনীর ছাত্র থাকাকালীন সময় গিয়েছিলাম উমরাহ করতে। ইমাম সাহেবকে মাইক দিয়ে নামাজ পড়াতে দেখে আমারো শখ জাগল ইমাম হওয়ার। উমরাহ থেকে আসার পর লাঠি, পাইপ, হাতের কাছে যাই পেতাম না কেন, প্রতিকী মাইক্রোফোন বানিয়ে আমি ইমাম আর ছোট ভাইকে মুক্তাদী বানিয়ে ইমামতি করতাম।

এরপর কাতারের জাতীয় টেলিভিশন চ্যানেলে Rescue 911 নামে একটা অনুষ্ঠান দিত সপ্তাহে একবার। বেশির ভাগ সময়ই কোন বাসায় আগুন লাগত, আর রেসকিউ ৯১১ এর লোকজন আসত আগুনের হাত থেকে মানুষকে বাঁচানোর জন্য । তাদের সেই বীরত্বের পরাকাষ্ঠায় মুগ্ধ হয়ে আমি ইমামতি থেকে লক্ষ্য পরিবর্তন করে ঠিক করলাম, ফায়ার ফাইটার হব! পিঠে পানি-পিস্তলের টাঙ্কি আর কোমরে আম্মুর গাছে পানি দেয়ার নল পেঁচিয়ে সারাদিন খেলতাম আগুন নিভানোর খেলা। ঘরের জিনিসপত্র লন্ড-ভণ্ড করে দেয়া এই খেলা কেবল আম্মুর কাজই বাড়াত।

এরপর জীবনে আরো অনেক কিছু হতে চেয়েছি। টারজান দেখার সময় টারজান, সুপারম্যান দেখার সময় সুপারম্যান, থাণ্ডার ক্যাটস দেখার সমর থান্ডার ক্যাটস। একটা প্লাস্টিকে তলোয়ারও কিনেছিলাম। আমি মামরা আর ছোটভাই থান্ডারক্যাটস হয়ে কী মারপিটই না করতাম।

এরপর ক্লাস সেভেন-এইটে পড়ার সময় নেতা হোয়ার শখ জাগে। নিজেই ঘরের মধ্যে ডায়াস বানিয়ে নিজে নিজেই মনের আনন্দে বক্তৃতা দিতাম।

এরপর নাইন-টেন-ইলাভেনে পড়ার সময় ছিলাম লক্ষ্যবিহীন । বাংলা-অঙ্ক পছন্দ করতাম বলে ভাবতাম, বাংলা অঙ্কে কিছু একটা পড়ব। কিন্তু আমাদের ত ডাক্তার-ইঞ্জিনিয়ার ছাড়া আবার অন্য কিছু টানে না। ত ভাবলাম ইঙ্গিনিয়ারিং ই পড়ি। অফিসিয়াল আকাইম্মা এঞ্জিনবিদ খেতাব পাওয়ার আর মাত্র চার-পাঁচ মাস বাকি। কবরে যাওয়ার আগ পর্যন্ত এই তকমাই ঝুলানো থাকবে গলায়।

[layperson]

Originally Posted by ZeeshanM
Not technically a SMBL but why do some of us bangalis pronounce Pizza(Pitzah) as Pijjjah! as if they are trying to force it out of their system. wtf....

Same reason you write "vai" instead of "Bhai". Just as there is no "V" in the bangla alphabets there is no "Z" in it either. So pijja is a banglaized pronounciation of the word pizza.

[Electrequiem]

^^^ Yeah, there's no "soft J" in Bangla. It's either পিজ্জা or পিঝা.

[Tigers_eye]

Which is correct?

Pitzah: that is what I say
Pijjah: that is what some Dhaka people say
Piza: The remaining Dhaka people say

[Electrequiem]

Originally Posted by Tigers_eye
Which is correct?

Pitzah: that is what I say
Pijjah: that is what some Dhaka people say
Piza: The remaining Dhaka people say

"Pitzah" is correct - as long as the "z" is pronounced as a "soft J" with the tip of your tongue against your top row of teeth.

Or we could just call it "Ponir rooti."

[Tigers_eye]

Originally Posted by BD-Shardul
... কবরে যাওয়ার আগ পর্যন্ত এই তকমাই ঝুলানো থাকবে গলায়।

Don't be so sure. Most of the EE I know writes code now Computer science.

I had the degree on Computer Science, now am an Auditor.

Life always throws a curve ball at you. Alhamdulillah I am better off.

[bujhee kom]

I say Black - Belaack.
Blood -Belaad.
Kentucky - Kaantucky
Cake- Kaak
Restaurant - Hotel
Car - Private
Juice - Jhoosh
Zero - Jeeroo

[Ajfar]

Originally Posted by bujhee kom
I say Black - Belaack.
Blood -Belaad.
Kentucky - Kaantucky
Cake- Kaak
Restaurant - Hotel
Car - Private
Juice - Jhoosh
Zero - Jeeroo

coke- cock

[bujhee kom]

Originally Posted by bangladesh_sy
coke- cock

Huuuhhh....???

[layperson]

Originally Posted by Tigers_eye
Don't be so sure. Most of the EE I know writes code now Computer science.

I had the degree on Computer Science, now am an Auditor.

Life always throws a curve ball at you. Alhamdulillah I am better off.

com sci degree niye auditor !!!! did you study accounting later or get any accounting designations ?

[BD-Shardul]

Some say glass as gelash.

[Tigers_eye]

Originally Posted by layperson
com sci degree niye auditor !!!! did you study accounting later or get any accounting designations ?

No. Just a general MBA. Also had a MIS undergrad degree (Business). Opportunity arrived after y2k, Already was system admin then with no promotion in near future. So switched. Now added a "Chief" title.

[BD-Shardul]

ZM you are not alone. We are all on the same boat

Recently R, one of my friends got married. He did not continue his study after HSC exam and started business. I gave the news to another of my friend, who is studying medicine in Khulna Medical College.

Me to my daktar bondhu : mone ache dost, R ke ki ekta bepare tui ekdin koichili, "R, tore emon jaygai mair dimu, ze jibone tore ar keu baap dakbo ba"---amgo sei R ekhon biye kore feleche. dui din pore dekhbi baba hoye geche.

My daktar friend: WTF? R got married and my lips are still virgin. Srew porashona

[Zeeshan]

So my momma had to return a sweater to Macy's and since she doesn't drive freeways I had to tag along with her. No...that's not it. So I had to tag along with her....and then for giving her ride she said we can get some Mongolian food. Now Mongolian BBQ is as you know it you put your own food for a fixed price...like meat, vegies, seasonings and they cook it for you. Well there was a note above the food saying "Please do not squash the food" as many would try to stack as much as possible to fit in to get their moneys worth. So, guess what she does? Yup....starts squashing the food as much as possible. And as if that wasn't embarassing enough with everyone staring at our odd plate with overflowing food, the cashier finally blurted out: "Ma'am please don't squash the food."

This is the last time I am giving ride to my mom.

[Rommel]

Originally Posted by ZeeshanM
So my momma had to return a sweater to Macy's and since she doesn't drive freeways I had to tag along with her. No...that's not it. So I had to tag along with her....and then for giving her ride she said we can get some Mongolian food. Now Mongolian BBQ is as you know it you put your own food for a fixed price...like meat, vegies, seasonings and they cook it for you. Well there was a note above the food saying "Please do not squash the food" as many would try to stack as much as possible to fit in to get their moneys worth. So, guess what she does? Yup....starts squashing the food as much as possible. And as if that wasn't embarassing enough with everyone staring at our odd plate with overflowing food, the cashier finally blurted out: "Ma'am please don't squash the food."

This is the last time I am giving ride to my mom.

My mom does that with peppermints. Whenever we go somewhere and they are giving away free peppermints, she takes like 20 of em and stuffs em in her bag "for later"...

[bujhee kom]

I also take all the matches, toothpicks, brochure flyers everything, ketschup, straws, mayonaise, musterd, salt & pepper, all of it......from hotel I take the little shampoos and soaps, note pads, from bank teller I take all the pops, pens, candies and dog bisquits (although I don't have a dog, I pretend they are for me, for later)

I have drawers, boxes full of these stuffs, I am saving these for emergency, rainy days. I also hav eplatic knives, spoons and old napkins.

Posted by a a very high tech private satelite

[Beamer]

Originally Posted by bujhee kom
I say Black - Belaack.
Blood -Belaad.
Kentucky - Kaantucky
Cake- Kaak
Restaurant - Hotel
Car - Private
Juice - Jhoosh
Zero - Jeeroo

I was in Aricha ferry ghat once before Jamuna bridge opened. The dude selling coke was screaming, " thanda cold drinks " ...

[magic boy]

arreh bhais......ami shobcheye boro bipode porsi internet e. ek foreign female friend(muslim,conservative)) er kasey.
facebook e amar chachato boner meyer(7) chhobi dilam. then that friend asked, "how cute, who is she?"

I answered : my vagina (i meanভাগিনা)

she : wtf man!!!! your what? huh ..$%@^%$& [censored] ************************[/censored]:@


and she dint want my explanation as she ignored forever

er por theke ami V er bodole Bh use kori

[AsifTheManRahman]

I'm assuming she knows at least a little bit of Bangla for you to be using Bangla terms in response to her question. Otherwise, major fail on your part even before you typed "v".

[Bancan]

Originally Posted by magic boy
arreh bhais......ami shobcheye boro bipode porsi internet e. ek foreign female friend(muslim,conservative)) er kasey.
facebook e amar chachato boner meyer(7) chhobi dilam. then that friend asked, "how cute, who is she?"

I answered : my vagina (i meanভাগিনা)

she : wtf man!!!! your what? huh ..$%@^%$& [censored] ************************[/censored]:@


and she dint want my explanation as she ignored forever

er por theke ami V er bodole Bh use kori

wow that was dumb, like what were you thinking