Mohammad Amir in breach of ban again (Humour - Cricinfo Article)

[Banglaguy]

The ICC is investigating claims that Pakistan seamer Mohammad Amir breached his ban by playing in a hallway cricket game at a family gathering in his hometown of Changa Bangyaal. Amir took 22 wickets and made the game's top score of 9, leading his side to an overwhelming victory against the opposition, who mainly comprised overweight men above 45 trying to teach their daughters how to play.

"We are investigating and awaiting a reply," said ICC official Gareth Harris. "Amir's ban is absolute. He can't play for a national team, regional side, club, or for friends and family. He can't play any cricket-themed computer games, no book cricket with classmates, he can't even think about cricket. In fact, if he happens to find a cricket on his clothes while camping, he just has to ignore it or else he is defying our ban."

Harris said the reported hallway cricket incident, if found to be true, falls well inside the ban's reach - from which there is little escape.

"If Amir thought playing a game in a relatively inconsequential small town was fine, he is clearly underestimating the absoluteness of this ban. Not only is this ban global, meaning no corner of the world is safe, but it's universal as well, so zero-gravity cricket is out. In addition, he's banned from playing in whatever exists outside of the universe and the ban also applies across all 12 spatial dimensions hypothesised by string theorists."

Amir said he had only agreed to play the game after being assured by relatives that the match would not contravene the ban.

"I asked several of my cousins if the match fell in the ICC's jurisdiction, and they didn't give me any reason to believe that it did," he said. "Though in retrospect, they were all under the age of 12, and their judgement may have been clouded by the Fanta they had been guzzling prior to the match."

Amir's brother Akif, who had played on the opposing team, told reporters that he was extremely surprised to see Amir appear for the hallway cricket match.

"I couldn't quite believe what I was seeing," Akif said. "He even posed for a photo with me during the match. It was unreal." However, Akif said he fully supported his brother's ban, having seen how much of a blatant cheater he was during the game.

"I hope he never plays again," Akif said. "Anyone who thinks I nicked behind when the ball had clearly hit the side wall instead of my bat is a gigantic liar and should not be allowed to disgrace the game at any level. He even appealed whenever the ball hit the batsman's leg, when he knows full well that there is no lbw in hallway cricket."

Amir though, played down Akif's comments, claiming they were motivated by jealousy. "He's just mad because he bowls like a girl and I got him out for 2. He always does this."

Source.