[rafiq]

BD cricket team splits in two!
By Sports Reporter


If the shocking loss to underdogs South Africa was not enough, unidentified sources report that the Bangladesh cricket team has now split into 2 factions along partisan political lines.

On one hand, a group of players are agitated that Khaled Mahmud Sujon, their spiritual leader, has not figured in Dav Whatmore's ICC tournament plans as of yet. If ragtag tabloid reports can be believed, Whatmore plans to leave the pace demon out of the West Indies game as well. Sujon, who is alleged to have the backing of powerful forces in the ruling BNP, has threatened to form his own team. To be called Bangladesh Jatiyotabadi Cricket Team (BJCT-Sujon), the rebel unit will play West Indies on Tuesday, Sept 14, a day before the scheduled ICC tournament match. Sujon claims to have seven starters and a reserve backing him, and to complete the side, he has approached a couple of Banglawicket.com fans he made friends with in Edgbaston.

Astounded by this development, players loyal to the opposition Awami League, albeit in the minority, have asked Coach Whatmore to send the BNP elements back home. Their spokesman, wishing to remain anonymous, has asked loyal Bangladesh fans to step up for an impromptu half-day trial tomorrow (Tuesday) for selection to the national squad. Sources indicate this trial will take place in the hotel hallway outside captain Rajin Saleh's room.

The ICC, meanwhile, has yet to issue a statement but is expected to stay out of the internal affairs of the Bangladesh cricket team. "This is a matter for the Bangladesh Cricket Board", an ICC spokeswoman declared, but she, too, wanted to remain anonymous.

Ali Asghar Lobbi, found sitting in the hotel lobby catching up on the latest episode of "The Kumars" show, had a stern warning for the AL sympathizers. "If they call a hartal or do anything to damage the nation's image in this foreign land, there will be dire consequences". Reminded that it was the BNP players who were causing the trouble, reportedly over the omission of Sujon, Lobby said he would form a committee to investigate and a full report would be made public. "We have nothing to hide. We came here to play cricket, if necessary I will fight the West Indies by myself".

As for the Windies, Brian Lara was stoic in his observations:"AL or BNP, I &I don't care, maan, dem all goan be crushed like chilli peppa....". The rest of his comments are unprintable in a G-rated website.

Outside the hotel, police have set up a roadblock to keep away hundreds of agitated Bangladeshi fans. For days the fans have been stewing, and the mood has turned quite ugly. First, Bangladesh lost to Scotland, then to the USA ("What a glorious 142 that was from Clayton Lambert", wrote friend-of-Bangladesh and Crickinfo reporter, Andrew Miller), and then came the horror of the defeat to an out of sorts South Africa team.

On a giant screen set up in the hotel parking lot, fans are busy typing in their opinions on the banglawicket.com website message board. Moderator Japaniman was on hand, making sure rules were being followed, and had this to offer: "Look, even I am ready to use profanity, something which I would not allow on my board but out here in the streets of Southampton, somehow I feel free to say I cannot take this anymore".

As news of the split in the team leaked out, Bangladeshi fans immediately began reorganizing along party lines. Banglawicket.com banners, already looking a little worse for the wear after making the journey from Birmingham, were soon being trampled upon, and in their place sprung up colorful AL/BNP placards. The lunchtime English crowd stopped to take a peek at the bizarre scene; one little Bangladeshi boy could be seen with a sign that said "Sujon Chacha maro taan, Whatmore hobe khaan khaan".

[This report is unreliable, is meant solely to provide some much needed comic relief to the banglawicket.com website, and should not be used to wager any bets in the upcoming Bangladesh vs West Indies match]

Edited on, September 14, 2004, 1:36 PM GMT, by rafiq.