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Old October 17, 2019, 06:30 AM
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Zeeshan Zeeshan is offline
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I wrote it on my YouTube page. It is littered with expletives so hopefully it will auto-censor by the forum program. This was once my recent realization which I am sure and no doubt ToBeFair will appreciate.

Quote:
When I was in college six years ago and took Theater Arts, our professor - whose name I still remember- once said feigning a tone of incredulity: "[....] don't you know it's about who you know in Hollywood that decides success..." To which I scoffed in my mind: "What a loser talk. If you have talent and you work hard obviously you will succeed."


Little did I know as a young naif how deluded I was. The fact that luck and connection and bootlicking and other variables plays a much bigger role in deciding factors of success eluded me. Escaped me.


The truth of the matter is - and has been part of my Awakening from the eternal Pollyanna that I was - is the fact that people are nasty, selfish, mean spirited, downright evil and nefarious. You can tick all the boxes and do everything right and you will still be ignored, knocked down and neglected. (This thread is a bit tangential to the new Joker film which I have my own reservations about the portrayal of mentally ill in a pitiful manner which Todd Phillips is so adept at as seen from Alan's character in Hangover.)


The point being you can work hard as you like, you can do all the scrubbing and polishing and detailing with sweat, blood and tears but you will still be ignored. I myself did an experiment on Facebook where I thought my posts are not being seen because no one seemed to care about the posts """""I"""""" like instead when I faked a post: "Soo good I got a good grade in college" suddenly all these assholes crept out of their woodwork and started liking it. This just shows how nefarious people can be. Because the truth is I absolutely ****in HATE college.


There was time when I wanted to open a club, and no one showed up. If it was the old me, I would say : "oh shut up, at least be grateful they wanted to make it but maybe got busy." That is such a beta cuck way of presenting it. Now my rancor has liberated me. The point is you don't know that. Are you trying to tell me that of all the 7 or so people all of them got busy at the same time? And part of that thought pattern was responsible because of the people I admired and was attracted to so that I surreptitiously got inculcated with their line of thinking.


Now my higher Self will say: Are you ****in shitting me? Once you make a commitment you make it. Hence it's called commitment. The fact is should "I" have failed to show up then these so called wellwishing "mentors" would beat down on me. But that voice to beat down ironically had been harbored by me and internalized.


It's almost nothing I would do or did was good enough. Damned if I was on the other side, damned if I was this. And that's the problem with hanging out with beta cucks who will always bend over backwards to please other.


Now I can see why the incel people may be marginalized and neglected and feel the need to vociferously express them in less than palatable ways. And in some unfortunate cases - violence. And obviously that's just a pitiful, woeful way to end the life.


But this is besides the point. Part of my Awakening was to realize that the world is not as it seems. People are nasty, selfish, mean-spirited, hateful, spiteful and downright evil who will gaslight you to think something is wrong with "YOU". As if things are you doing are not good enough. "Only if you try a little hard enough... only...if only."


But the fact is you can try as hard as you want and the least qualified and still the other person get the job. You can make the damned best video on YouTube and you open up browser in incognito and you see all these shitty, crapfest videos glazing the front page. Whether it be stackexchange or mathoverflow or some distinguished professor from college, they are not interested in Truth and Research and Philosophy. They are just selfishly motivated to further their own egoic agenda.


Facebook algorithm works just like sucking each other's cock. You pat mine and I will yours. Hence you see the people with whom you interact most will have more tendency to reciprocate. This is among one of the reasons I don't use that medium anymore. Another being where there was this illusion "ohh.. ohh once you only create the finest product (or page) and people will flock you" which is another pure Pollyanna b.s. And also another deceptive fact is you might advertise and people will like in droves but will hardly interact and engage. Another facade.


If the world was not corrupt and evil there would BE NO university scandal where venal academics were in cahoots with the parents who fed them wad full of monies.


So you see, world is not as nice as you think it is. I used to think Democrats are these enlightened soul who are fighting the righteous battle. But they are as sleazeball as the man next door. They preach compassion, open mindedness and acceptance but they act like big child who didn't get their crooked Hillary so they made it a mission to downtrod on His "Majesty" and knock him at every corner. They will tell their child who failed to win an award: "Oh grow up FFS and accept the loss" yet they themselves act like big, fat babies.


I mention this because California is mostly democratic. And my impression was I was enveloped with angelic soul. But these people are as nasty as the ones they vilify.


Now I needed to swallow this bitter pill because only way to awaken me and salvage me from the mess I got in was to balance it by having the perspective 'yes just as people can be kind, compassion, nice, polite, honest and truthful" they can also be bloody ****in assholes and corrupt and unkind and spiteful who gaslights you."


And I needed to hear this to come back full circle back to my Pollyanna self. Because in reality, the world is neither good nor bad. People are both. In reality, the world is in perfect balance and equilibrium. And the REASON why it is in perfect balance is precisely because of these evil guys.


And yes, if you are wondering I did finally find peace after all afterwards. Just like Eminem said: "Once I stopped giving a f*** that's when things turned around."


"Mountains are mountains and waters are waters;
After a first glimpse into the truth of Zen, mountains are no longer mountains and waters are no longer waters;
After enlightenment, mountains are once again mountains and waters once again waters."
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"Cursed be the ground, for our sake. Both thorns and thistles it shall bring forth, for us, for out of the ground we were taken for the dust that we are... and to the dust we shall return."
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