Larry Page Poaches Key 49ers Cheerleaders, Agrees to Terms with Nivea Boys
August 5, 2012, San Francisco-
Larry page, geek supreme turned multi-billionaire owner of the SF Sharks is a busy man. Just hours after securing the services of Graham Gooch, Wasim Akram, Robin Singh and Paula Patton, he announced signing Allison, Juanita and Kim, co captains of the SF 49ers cheerleaders squad to lead the Sharks to T&A glory at the Stick. Ever the astute investor and a San Francisco native, he also agreed to terms with the Nivea Boys to lead the cheer in front of the newly renovated Village People section of the Stick.
"I kept the unique characteristics of our city in mind when I went after them." commented Page during the presser held at the Champagne Room of Club DV8 in the SOMA District of the city.
"With these critical signings, now I'm sure we can attract the Castro, Richmond, Mission as well as the Chinatown crowds to come to the park and cheer for our cricketers alongside the predominantly South Asian cricket fans from Silicon Valley. All of the Google employees will come, I can assure you." He added.
Paolo, captain of the Nivea Boys was visibly overwhelmed with joy upon agreeing to undisclosed terms with Page. "I don't know anything about cricket but since its an ENGLISH thing, I'm sure I'll love it, NATURALLY. I just did a little Googling on my iPhone and boy, Stuart Broad and Mushfiqur Rahim are total hotties in different ways. I hope Sohel signs them." He said, fanning his tears dry with perfectly done fingernails.
GM Sohel N. Rahman, still recovering from the shock announcement at 4:30 in the morning PST, could not be reached for comment.
The cheerleaders would hold tryouts in UC Berkeley (for women, details TBA), and the Casto District (for men, details TBA) within 72 hours.
SF Sharks CheerLadies' Captains (R-L) Allison Davenport, Juanita Escobar and Kim Hyun Lee
SF Sharks CheerLads' Captains The Nivea Boys (R-L: Paolo Higuain, Christophe Du Madrid, Franco Madrileno and Cristiano Ronaldo)